It is all about me, not about we!

One of the ways I keep my sanity living in Poland(or any country actually) is that I volunteer.  

 The other day I was looking for some people to help out for an hour or so at activity at my husbands job.  Instead of getting a few yes emails, I got several emails or calls explaining why they could  not help.  I was just a tad bit stressed out over the whole situation.  Why because the group that asked us for an hour or so of help is also the same group that gives us LOTS of money to do things.  It is one of those things, I scratch your back and you scratch my back.  If someone does not help you, why would want to help them?  

Well then I went to Facebook and posted this….

Getting tired of being politically correct! I wish I could tell people how I really feel about the 8 million excuses I get from people on why they can’t out a volunteer for something!! I can throw the same excuse back at them but I keep biting my lip!! I have a part-time job, I have 3 kids at home, 2 of which are going to a school I don’t speak the language, 1 who is going online and is in her last year and so the things that brings with it as well, I have a husband who travels a lot for his job too, I go to a local church and have my 4 callings(none of which I asked to do but was asked by the church bishop) that go with being in a small church(which takes up most of my Sunday and Wednesdays), my kids participate in art classes and swim lessons outside of school and lots not talk about my volunteer work. OK, I am getting off my soapbox but I am beyond frustrated right about now!! It just amazes me the priorities some people have in life at times… it is all about me, not about we!

So I guess with this blog post, I am no longer being politically correct.  But because of my FB post it started a interesting conversation among my friends and my blog readers on my Facebook site.  

  •  LOL Kelley! Yes, I am sure we can all relate, but I can honestly say you have most of us beat! I think you have a secret clone you hide in the closet 
  • ME-  I know not everyone will be like me but asking someone who has reaped the benefits for the last year+ of something to help maybe 4 hours a month, is not a whole lot to ask! Or am I wrong?
  • Have you been reading my mind? I’ve been on this soapbox all week! They added 2 weeks to “A’s” deployment so I was already in a funk this week. I had to step back and regroup myself before I could continue with PTA stuff. Today I’ve made some headway but I really need more hand to make some of this stuff work. I should probably add in the I have no idea what I should be doing half the time!
  •  No, you are not. Some people just don’t think beyond themselves and their situation and it is sad.
  •  feeling guilty
  • Kel there are givers and takers and thank god we are givers. Some people will never give back. Feel sorry for them that they won’t feel the benefit of giving. Keep doing what you’re doing- proud of you
  • I’m the same way. The problem is, we are just too darn responsible. Then we get so good at things and people keep asking us to do more. You probably have a little too much going on which may be why you’re additionally frustrated but yes, it’s amazing how some people think they are so much busier than you so they can’t volunteer but then “comparing notes” you’re like huh???
  •  Not everyone can be like us Kelley. I work full time, take online classes, have 3 kids in activities, work in the church, take care of home and still volunteer. All I can say is Proverbs 31 woman. 
  •  It’s always easier to find an excuse than doing something.  But – those people don’t know what they miss.
  •  I hear ya! I don’t have kids, so I don’t have that worry, but so many people tell me they can’t foster dogs because they are too busy, but they really want to…..whatever. Most people who foster are full time workers with kids. I’ve asked people to do many things when it comes to volunteering for human and animal causes and just like what you hear, there is always an excuse. Honestly, if I’m not volunteering with something, I feel useless and get depressed. So I agree. And seriously, what you have on your plate and the fact that you do things for people and animals, you are the perfect example on how it can be done. I asked people a year ago if they could donate clothes, shoes, coats..etc. because I like to hand them out to people living on the streets, and not one person did.
  • I always hear more excuses than I do offers too. I dont think people realize how fulfilled they’d be, if they gave back a bit too.
  •  They don’t because they never tried. I’d love to volunteer again but with my migraines … Anyway, as soon as I’m just a little better, I’ll be back. I miss it so much.
  •  Don’t forget that some people may be doing things you may not be aware of or they may have an illness that is not outwardly visible. However, then there are those who don’t do anything and don’t have any real reason. Some people are not blessed as you are Kelley with the energy you have or with the talents you so obviously have. My husband and step-daughter seem to have super human energy. My step-daughter has 4 of her own under age 9, runs a day care in her home, bakes most of her things from scratch, etc. Plus all her kids are in 1-3 activities each. Even at her age, I couldn’t have done what she does. Sorry you don’t get more help, but thanks so much for all you do!
  • Hang tough!
  •  ME- I completely understand but when I see the same people suggesting lets do this or lets do that but don’t want help it is another story or when I see or hear that others have time to do lunch with x, y and z, have time to go do this event with a,b and c but yet expect O,P and Q to coordinate things for a,b,c,x,y and z. It gets frustrating! I would LOVE to have time to hang out with friends and sit a learn more about each other, spend an hour at a gym class together but I am to busy coordinating things that helped a,b,c,x,y and z become friends together! But no worries O,P and Q are not worrying about it anymore and just finishing up our time for our positions and letting the cards fall where ever they fall.
  •  ME -

     I am sure you know what I am talking about but there is a lot going within it and I am done with it all. It is time once and for all for Kelley to be greedy and worry about Kelley. And yes, K & B & C you all are probably falling off your chairs right now as this is soooo not me! L, thanks for the gentle reminder of what priorities need/should to be!
  •  

    Amen sista!! Lol but Kelly you really are the volunteer queen!! You make me feel guilty too!  there are a couple sisters in my ward who are just like you!! You are amazing that’s all I have to say  oh and I love you and miss you!!
     
  •  I understand your frustrations. There is a saying I will mess up but it has to do with 20% do 100% of the work. I used to be like you, mom of 4, PTA President, active duty military, etc. I was part of that 20%. I cant and won’t do that anymore. There is a time when I decided to pass the torch so to speak. I have learned to ignore the volunteer requests because the need to take care of myself is greater than the need to satisfy others. No excuses here. You are a wonderful woman and have earned the right to say no and focus on yourself from time to time.
  •  I have so been where you are (but not nearly as bad because I don’t know anyone alive that could hold a volunteering candle to you  Hang in there sis, even when the people you are helping seem ungrateful, there are still those that appreciate you more than you will ever know!!!
  • ME – Thanks ladies for letting me vent about this and all the kind words! I understand not everyone is like me but when you are the benefactor from everyone else’s hard work that where I lose it! But no worries I am going to be helping in areas where I can really make a change in the world, helping that one starfish! And lord knows there are just a few places like that in Poland.
  • you say time to be greedy for Kelley. YOu won’t do it for long, it’s not your style and it wont fulfill you. Just know that all of us on here have given and have witnessed the takers. I feel sorry for them not being fulfilled by giving selflessly. Take some time for you, but deep down I know you’ll go back to being the giver you are, even in a different capacity!
  • When I worked for the MDs, one of them complained about the “quality” of the presentations. I asked him if he had submitted any work. He replied, no, that takes a lot of time. So when I went back to the office, I added him to the review committee. He actually did it, and a few years later was a volunteer board member. Sometimes, you need to find the right volunteer opportunity for the person, and at the right time.
  •  What ever happened to just saying, “I don’t want to”? I’d rather be told that than some lame excuse.
  • what really bothers me is when people complain they have nothing to do then soon as you mention volunteer work that bored with nothing to do becomes to busy.
 
So as you can see people volunteer for many different reasons!  But here are my top 10 reasons….
 
1. I have got to meet some really interesting local Polish people.
Just a few of the great Polish people that I have met here!

Just a few of the great Polish people that I have met here!

2. Gives me a reason to leave the house instead of watching TV all day.
Hanging out with my son!

Hanging out with my son!

3. I am able to spend time with my kids when helping with their scout groups, swim team, class parent (time I wish more parents would do with their kids as you see a completely different side of your kids).

One of my proudest volunteer positions.  Coordintation the placement for a total of  16,602 USA and Dutch flags at a WWII American Military Cemetery in the Netherlands for 6 years.

One of my proudest volunteer positions. Coordinated the placement for a total of 16,602 USA and Dutch flags in 4 hours at a WWII American Military Cemetery in the Netherlands for 6 years.

4. One of the reasons I volunteer is because of GREAT people that I meet like this lady.

One of the reasons I volunteer is because of GREAT people that I meet like this lady.

I miss this lady and the laughs we shared!

5.  You can help form the next generation in the world.  My parents were like me and now my son is like me!

Even though my son is grown and out of the house living his own life, he still volunteering helping those in need like here when were he lives flooded, he and my dad delivered meals to those in need.

Even though my son is grown and out of the house living his own life, he still is volunteering helping those in need like here were he lives during a major flood, he and my dad delivered meals to those in need.

6. I volunteer with my husband and kids and we are hoping to teach them that there is a bigger world out there!  That it is not always about me, but about we!

It is not about the awards or certificates I get for volunteering but the smiles that I get from those I help!  Do be honest all of the awards and certifacates have all ended up in the garbage or recycled.  I have only kept 2, one that was handmade by a bunch teenagers when I lived in Maimi 15 years ago and 1 Army one.

It is not about the awards or certificates I  or my family had got for volunteering but the smiles that I get from those I help! To be honest all of the awards and certificates we have received, all have ended up in the garbage or recycled. I have only kept 2, one that was handmade by a bunch teenagers when I lived in Miami 15 years ago and 1 Army one.

7. Since I cannot work, my different positions will fill my resume if I decide to go back to work.

I love being able to teach and watch my daughter gain leadership skills.

I love being able to teach and watch my daughter gain leadership skills.

8.  Some of my happiest memories with my husband and my kids come for us either volunteering or someone else volunteering to put an event together.

I get to see my hubby where this hard cute hard hat.  Here we are tearing down at stage from a Air Force concert.

I get to see my hubby wear this cute hard hat. Here we are tearing down at stage from a Air Force concert.

9. Living in areas like Poland, Panama, the rough area of Miami and St. Louis, I have learned to appreciate what I have and there is someone who has worse off then I do(many times no fault of their own) and doing a simple things for someone else not only makes their day but makes my day as well.

Here I am taking come local kids from a orphange that I volunteer for around a local event.  Best part, 2 of these kids are now adopted and with forever families that I have met them because of this blog!!

Here I am taking come local kids from a orphanage that I volunteer for around a local event. Best part, 2 of these kids are now adopted and with forever families that I have met them because of this blog!!

10. Can you imagine the world if no one volunteered?  There would be no scouting, most churches would not be, most park activities would happen, many people would go hungry to bed each night, fundraising for many diseases would not happen, Polio would not be eradicated for the most part in the world, kids sports teams would not be, and I could go on and on!

I got to go on a Italian beach trip with my daughter and her scout troop!

I got to go on a Italian beach trip with my daughter and her scout troop!

 But here this pictures explains it all why I do what I do and I hope more people would be able experience it as well.

Here my husband and I are delivering packages to families here in Bydgoszcz with a Christmas charity that helps families during the holiday season.  This family broke our heart. This little girl started crying when she opened this box because on top it had a used pink winter jacket that she could call her own.  Mind you I can by a used one just like what she got for about the same price as Diet Coke or a new one for the price of a quick family dinner at McDonalds.  How could you not want to help out?

Here my husband and I are delivering packages to families here in Bydgoszcz with a Christmas charity that helps families during the holiday season. This family broke our heart. This little girl started crying when she opened this box because on top it had a used pink winter jacket that she could call her own. Mind you I can by a used one just like what she got for about the same price as Diet Coke or a new one for the price of a quick family dinner at McDonalds. How could you not want to help out?

I did not think a little post would create so much fussy both positive and negative.  I also know there are cultural differences especially in this area of Europe but after taking to a few people about this, in the end no matter where you come from for the most part people have hearts of gold.

How do you feel about volunteering?

Only 2 more days of me asking!!

Have you voted today yet?

I am up for being one of the European mom blog on the Circle of Moms website. (this is big deal for us bloggers), so you can take a minute and click on this picture and vote for me?  You can vote once a day and I would be forever grateful!

Circle of Moms Top 25 European Moms - 2013 - Vote for me!

 

love kelley
This entry was posted in Bydgoszcz, Church, Family, International Education, Just for fun, Military, Poland and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to It is all about me, not about we!

  1. Sunny says:

    Kelley,
    Your post is interesting to me because the first thought I had was how do you manage to meet the needs of your children, family, and yourself with all the things you’re juggling?! How do you do it?

    • Sunny,

      It is all about priorities. Some people it is riding horses, reading books, going to movies or such for us it is making the world around us a better place. There is no “I” in this family , we are team so most times you will see my whole family or a portion of us. That is how we spend our family time together.
      Never a Dull Day in Poland recently posted..I am HOW old?My Profile

  2. Scott R. Lucado says:

    I volunteer a lot at my parish, and it’s fun to know that what I’m doing makes a difference in people’s lives.

  3. Jean says:

    I head our Quilt Guild Charity I understand. Out of 37 members 5 or 6 of us quilt for our charity.

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